Excuses

Here I am again, tried getting to bed early, since I was up until after 11 last night chatting online and reading some of the hot blogs I found in the last couple of days. But once again the insomnia kicks in, and I find myself blogging again.

Things at work are slowly getting better, but there is still the odd occasion during the day that I just want to pack up my things and fuck off. Good thing that I have to pay a car and rent, otherwise I probably would have left already.

There's this HOT guy chatting to me on Manhunt, and he is ever so keen to meet! Perhaps Friday evening? It would only be for sex though, and we both know it. Damn, he's goodlooking, smooth, hung like a horse, and very keen to be fucked and to return the favour. How can I say no?

Ray sent me an email today asking why I am not returning his emails. I was so busy at work that I honestly didn't even have time, and he was like 'will I still see you this weekend'. And I sort of feel bad, because I really want to see him, and I have to get Kathy's Avon order from him, but on the other hadn I also just want to be alone this weekend, and sleep until late and walk around naked and just chill, watch movies, play some games. Apart from wanting to fuck the hot boy on Manhunt, I really don't feel like seeing people this weekend...

I also thought about telling Ray that we'll only have friendship, and as stupid as it might seem, I think it will be for the better, otherwise I'll just end up hurting him and feeling like a cunt. I can't see myself being with him unless he gets his own transport and reliable income. If I had saved the money I had spent on him in only two weekends, it would have been a quarter of my plane ticket to america already. Fuck that!

Got a call from JS this morning at work. Damn it was nice hearing his voice again! But the phone cut off while we were still talking, and I didn't get the time to call him back yet. Will give him a call over the weekend and maybe arrange to meet up the weekend after. Would be nice to see him again. Still think I have a slight crush on the guy :)

I was wondering about something... I realised that ALL of my previous relationships had started around this time of the year. So I was thinking, is it because of the seasons? That everybody wants to be with somebody before the winter starts? (For my followers in the Northern Hemisphere, it is Autumn here now). Or has it got to do with the general mood that everybody is in during this time of the year? Come to think of it, I was conceived during this time of the year as well, being born in January (together with the other 80% of my family who's birthdays are in December and mostly January)... Leave your comments and tell me what YOU think the reason is for this? Would be interesting to get other people's thoughts.

Briefly spoke to Deon on Skype today, and he hasn't received his new phone yet, so no iPhone for me (yet) :(:(:( Once again, I don't want to nagg him and be a pain in the ass about it, but I just can't help myself, the excitement of getting an iPhone is just too much! (yeah yeah, I've always been a bit of a gadget geek, especially if it is Apple branded :))

So I have these two very good friends, one who used to work with us, and another that still works with me (I'll refer to them as A&A, since both their names start with an A) They want us three to go to America together, to do Atlanta, Vegas and Florida, but its going to cost me a shit load of money! We're talking 40 000 Rands! (That roughly equates to about £4000 or $5500). I'd rather just go to Orlando, sail with Ray (my cousin, not the other Ray), and then buy a mac book or something and come back with loads of sexy underwear and DVD's and sex toys and porn. (Can you imagine the eyes of the customs officials when they scan my luggage upon returning!?! HAHAHA)

Surely I'll have a lot more freedom and time for hot boys when I go on my own as well, as opposed to with friends, where I'll be constrained to do what they want to do, and wouldn't be able to tell them: 'I'm just going out to go fuck some hot boy ass'. Buying all the stuff I want to buy in America would also be troublesome with friends around, even if I had the money to if I went on the bigger trip... Better speak to A&A soon to tell them I want to go alone, so I don't hold them back from planning their trip. Not sure what excuse I'll use though... They always have an answer for everything... *sigh*

Well, let me go try and sleep again.

Kisses!

Mxxx